Monday, December 9, 2019
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Invisibility
I am 5 months post op now. I have dropped over 100 pounds since the 4th of May. I am feeling pretty great. I eat, not much, but I do eat. I stick to the basics, protein and veggies mostly. These things settle well, and don't make me feel like shit. I am thoroughly enjoying this process, I don't find it hard or irritating at all. My family is proud of me, and extremely supportive, so that helps a lot. I don't really have a lot of issues with foods or what ever as far as upsetting my stomach, but I haven't tried a whole lot of variety yet either. I plan to expand my horizons soon, and still hope to lose another hundred pounds. I will beat this weight issue, I have to win this one.
I have adapted my attitude towards food a lot since the surgery. Emotionally, I have given up my reliance on food for comfort. That was a HUGE battle. I was cranky for a long time, because letting go of so many things made me unhappy. I have lowered my emotional walls as I lowered my weight, and I am still working on that part of it all. I find myself in a better mood just because I am able to fit into clothes better, and I actually WANT to try on things that were barely fitting me a few months ago, just so I can see the progress. Don't get me wrong, I see it in the mirror, and other people tell me how awesome I am doing, but it doesn't always sink in like it should, so I have to just keep putting those pants back on, just one more time, so I can know that I know that it's really happening... Strange, but that's me... for now... Obsessing over the scale, and getting royally pissed of the scale tells me I only lost a half of a pound in a week. This week, it was 5.4 pounds. pretty good compared to that half a pound week I'd say.
I have a couple of co-workers that have had this surgery, and they were so very supportive in getting me through the emotional ups and downs before surgery, and have been cheering me on daily since. I had a conversation with one of those ladies today, she is 5 years post-op, and hasn't lost the last 20 pounds to reach her goal weight. She's asking me for advice on how to get those last 20 off... I am not sure what to tell her to be honest. I am still struggling to get half way to goal, and here she is less than a tenth of the way remaining... I showed her my herbalife protein shake book, she bought some, so that was a good thing. I really think she will do good with it. that's about all the help I can manage right now though. I am not strong enough yet to really help and motivate some one else. At least I don't think I am. Maybe other people see me differently. Maybe other people see me as a lot stronger than I really am in my own head... I am not a motivational kind of person, and I have never been one to just put myself out there to be looked at. Maybe that's another part of the reason why I hid behind my weight so successfully, I was invisible, and no one really paid me much attention. As much as I wanted to complain about that before my surgery, I am kind of realizing now that being invisible had its advantages.
I have adapted my attitude towards food a lot since the surgery. Emotionally, I have given up my reliance on food for comfort. That was a HUGE battle. I was cranky for a long time, because letting go of so many things made me unhappy. I have lowered my emotional walls as I lowered my weight, and I am still working on that part of it all. I find myself in a better mood just because I am able to fit into clothes better, and I actually WANT to try on things that were barely fitting me a few months ago, just so I can see the progress. Don't get me wrong, I see it in the mirror, and other people tell me how awesome I am doing, but it doesn't always sink in like it should, so I have to just keep putting those pants back on, just one more time, so I can know that I know that it's really happening... Strange, but that's me... for now... Obsessing over the scale, and getting royally pissed of the scale tells me I only lost a half of a pound in a week. This week, it was 5.4 pounds. pretty good compared to that half a pound week I'd say.
I have a couple of co-workers that have had this surgery, and they were so very supportive in getting me through the emotional ups and downs before surgery, and have been cheering me on daily since. I had a conversation with one of those ladies today, she is 5 years post-op, and hasn't lost the last 20 pounds to reach her goal weight. She's asking me for advice on how to get those last 20 off... I am not sure what to tell her to be honest. I am still struggling to get half way to goal, and here she is less than a tenth of the way remaining... I showed her my herbalife protein shake book, she bought some, so that was a good thing. I really think she will do good with it. that's about all the help I can manage right now though. I am not strong enough yet to really help and motivate some one else. At least I don't think I am. Maybe other people see me differently. Maybe other people see me as a lot stronger than I really am in my own head... I am not a motivational kind of person, and I have never been one to just put myself out there to be looked at. Maybe that's another part of the reason why I hid behind my weight so successfully, I was invisible, and no one really paid me much attention. As much as I wanted to complain about that before my surgery, I am kind of realizing now that being invisible had its advantages.
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